While the surroundings were new and beautiful, I was drowning in schoolwork and “to-do” lists. Without a supportive community, the loneliness started to settle in. I wasn’t just looking for a degree; I was looking for a place to belong.
The Mirage of the Soulmate
There was one girl who had been my constant since I arrived. She was thoughtful, helpful, and, in my eyes, perfect. Because she was my primary source of support, I projected all my needs onto her. I convinced myself she was my soulmate. I didn’t just want her friendship; I wanted her to be the answer to my isolation.
I sent the message before I was truly ready, driven by a desperate need for clarity. A day later, the reply came: a long paragraph explaining why we weren’t a fit, ending with a firm “don’t do this again.” I sat there in the silence, my hand pressed against the cold glass of my phone. I spent the next 24 hours in tears, feeling like I had lost my only anchor in this country.
The Anatomy of a “Mistake”
Looking back, that “ridiculous” reaction was actually a massive teaching moment. I realized my rush to confess was fueled by three things:
Compatibility vs. Proximity: We didn’t actually have much in common. I was into music and guitar; she lived for video games. We were speaking different languages, and I don’t mean English and Mandarin.
Emotional Immaturity: I was using a relationship to fill a void in my own life goals. I wasn’t looking for a partner to grow with, but someone who I can spend time with.
The “Only Friend” Trap: I made the fatal mistake of making one person my entire world. I mistook her kindness for a romantic invitation because I was starving for connection.
A New Chapter: From Fragile to Firm
I decided not to let that “awkward” rejection be the end of my story. It was the catalyst I needed to stop being “mentally fragile.” I realized that if I want a partner who recognizes me in a crowd, I first have to become someone worth noticing—someone with their own passions, goals, and strength.
That pain wasn’t a dead end; it was the first step toward the clarity I have today. I’m no longer just surviving in Canada; I’m building a life here.
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It’s a little bit exciting to be writing the first post about myself and my experiences on the road. Some background about me: I am a 19-year-old currently taking a gap year from school to experience life. I have taken trips to six countries across two continents, most of which were for exploring and learning.
In my opinion, life itself is an endless road that stretches from mountains to grasslands, there does not exist a single correct direction that you should follow in order to succeed.
Travel and growth-as the site name indicates, please hear me explain the two parts of the upcoming content on this site.
Why Traveling makes me feel content
Before My Journey: Fear of Traveling and How I Became a Fan of It
“I did not like traveling at all.” Although my parents had brought me on several domestic trips when I was really young, I had not had any international journeys until I turned 15 years old. At first, it was kind of intimidating before I stepped out of parents’ house, or I should say, even long before I did that.
Being lonely outside, having to cope with difficulties on my own and trying to speak a foreign language frightened me when my parents and I were planning on this extended travel that would later make great changes to my life. I was going to Canada to study. I did not back down.
First Leap Abroad: Arriving in Canada
When the plane touched down at that autumn night in Toronto, the cool air hitting my face as I stepped out of the plane, a world away from home. As all of you might know, going to a foreign country for the first time can be a compelling but challenging adventure. None of the people that I knew lived there, so the first year in Canada was spent making friends and getting to know the surroundings.
One of the most important troubles that every international traveler could encounter is the language barrier. Though I had studied English even before I came to Canada, I couldn’t understand what people were talking about in English in most situations. As a consequence, I had to push myself to learn English fast in order to understand the lectures and have some conversations with classmates.
Finding Somewhere You Belong: New Hobbies and Community
The latter two years in high school in Canada felt more brilliant and effortless for me in comparison to my first year.
Why? The first reason is that I started exploring various hobbies and interests that I had not been exposed to. I began my training in an exciting martial art and joined several clubs at school. Putting together a pop band and performing in front of an audience of hundreds of people was a highlight moment during that time; practicing the sword-swinging for an extended period and sweating all over my body just to improve swordsmanship, you could feel the pain and joy in it.
The second reason comes from the unique living atmosphere in North America. What I loved the most about living in Canada is that you got a lot of meetings of minds across diverse nations. From my observation, cultural diversity has produced some interesting life scenes.
For example, for breakfast you could savor nice Chinese porridge in a Chinese mall and head to an old colonial street for a box of delicious fish and chips, coming back at night to taste the charming aroma of an Indian curry bowl.
To sum up, the special Canadian experience can be deemed a priceless reward for me. I have become a fan of traveling abroad ever since.
One’s Personality or Mindset Can be Changed
During the years living in Toronto, I entirely transformed my personality and broadened my horizons. What I want to address is that, you could make incredible changes to your life by intentionally improving your habits and absorbing more knowledge. I think it is often associated with change in personal goals or external environments.
To be honest with you, I used to be a quiet and reserved person before I set out on my journey. You might think it is normal to be quiet and reserved, but I had undergone a long period of slight psychological oppression.
In China, I was told by the school and society to pursue the only road toward success—achieving good academic standing. Intuitively, I did not accept this abnormal concept. So for the three years of middle school particularly, I resisted to study the enormous textbook just to compete with hundreds of schoolmates stuck in the same dilemma.
By being absent from the boring classes and avoiding conversations with classmates or teachers, I felt a sense of relief. But the consequences of my behaviors were serious, I did not know how to communicate with people confidently.
In comparison with the principles of Western education, Chinese schools teach very little about the development of oneself and one’s personal interests. Individuality was somehow oppressed during my middle school years. For example, I had to learn 7 subjects during 1 term that took up most of my time while my hobbies were put aside. How could a 13-year-old boy or girl bear this sort of burden? Absolutely no.
From my perspective,
“People shouldn’t have to compete against each other like gladiators in the Colosseum just to get by in life. But this is quiet common in Modern China.”
On Upcoming Posts- the Variety of Thinking Styles
In addition to changes in my personality, I also benefited from absorbing a variety of knowledge. The Western way of thinking—often tending to be analytical and logical—has profoundly enriched my mindset. On the other hand, Eastern cognitive styles, especially Chinese philosophy, describe the world in a holistic view and prefer to infuse non-living objects with emotions and life.
As a traveler, I accept both thinking styles and even incorporate both in different contexts. Thus, visiting different places around the world may give you a unique perspective when you are judging something. In short, we will talk about the divides and similarities between Western and Oriental thinking styles in later posts.”
Conclusion- Why Travel and Growth Belong Together
Let your journeys unfold, and let your mind grow.
In this blog, you are invited to walk through my life before and after I moved to Canada. I hope that you have gained some insights into the beauty of travel and its connection with personal growth through this. I believe that everyone should visit or live somewhere they belong and thrive to pursue their life goals.
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Travel and grow 